Why Manifestation Isn’t Working: The Hidden Resistance Blocking What You Want | Kelsey Aida

What if you genuinely want something—but another part of you doesn’t feel safe receiving it?

In this episode of the Spiritual Spotlight Series, Rachel Garrett sits down with bestselling author and manifestation teacher Kelsey Aida to explore why manifestation is far more nuanced than simply thinking positively, making a vision board, and waiting for the universe to deliver.

Kelsey shares how an injury ended the future she imagined as a pre-professional dancer, leading to several years of depression and eventually a spiritual awakening that transformed her relationship with herself, manifestation, and possibility.

Together, Rachel and Kelsey explore the hidden resistance that can live underneath our biggest desires—and why someone can consciously want love, abundance, health, visibility, or change while subconsciously feeling unsafe receiving it.

They also unpack the shadow side of manifestation culture, including toxic positivity, manifestation shame, forced affirmations, emotional suppression, over-control, and the belief that every painful circumstance happened because you somehow “attracted” it.

You’ll also hear why receiving may be connected to self-worth and the nervous system, how to distinguish a surface desire from what you actually want, why surrender doesn’t mean giving up, and how becoming emotionally honest may bring you closer to alignment than pretending to feel positive all the time.

Kelsey also shares insights from her upcoming book The Manifesting Fix: Why the Law of Attraction Isn’t Working for You Yet and a practical exercise for identifying the resistance underneath your desires.

In this episode:

•  Why manifestation can become another form of control 
•  Hidden subconscious resistance 
•  Why your dream life can feel unsafe 
•  Self-sabotage and manifestation 
•  Receiving, worthiness and nervous-system safety 
•  Toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing 
•  Why uncomfortable emotions don’t ruin your manifestation 
•  Authentic affirmations vs. pretending 
•  Surface desires vs. genuine desires 
•  Trust, surrender and divine timing 
•  How to identify your resistance

Transcript

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Welcome And A New Manifestation Lens

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Welcome back to the Spiritual Spotlight series. Today we're exploring manifestation, but perhaps not in the way it's often presented online. My guest, Kelsey Ida, is a best selling author, intuitive, energetic alignment guide, transformation facilitator, and co-host of the top-rated high vibe in it podcast. Kelsey helps soul-centered women cultivate radical self-love, identify the hidden resistance beneath their desires, and align their mindset, identity, and energy within the lives they truly want to experience. But her work was born from a deeply personal transformation. After an injury ended the future she had imagined as a pre-professional dancer, Kelsey entered a long period of depression that ultimately led to her question everything she believed about happiness, healing, and human potential. Today we are talking about what happens when manifestation stops being a performance of positivity and becomes a more honest relationship with our worthiness, emotions, desires, and capacity to receive. Kelsey, welcome to the Spiritual Spotlight series. Kelsey, before you became known for a manifestation in radical self-love, you were a pre-professional dancer with a very specific vision of your future. Who were you before your life changed?

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Yeah, that's a crazy question. Because I feel like I'm the same girl, but I'm also totally different. If that answers your question. It does. I'm still a little bit neurotic, perfectionist tendencies, type A overachiever. Like that was my personality as a dancer. That's still my personality today as an author,

Losing The Dance Identity

SPEAKER_00 2:28

coach, healer. But back then I had this sense of like, oh, I meant to be seen, which I interpreted as oh, I meant to be the prima ballerina, creme de la creme, you know, like the girl in the front always. And obviously, when that dream didn't pan out because of injuries, which led me to depression, which led me to healing from depression, which led to a spiritual awakening, yada yada. Now on the other side of that, I'm like, oh yeah, that sense is still inside of me, but now it applies to the current goals and dreams of being a best-selling author and selling millions of books and talking on TEDx stages and whatever, whatever. So I'm the same but different, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

No, it it does. It's very interesting how life we think we have this vision of you know, of what we think our our future is gonna be. And then when we pivot, it's like, well, that's okay. Like it's it's it's something this or something better, right? Exactly. So when your injury took that future away, what did you feel that you had lost beyond dancing itself? Your purpose, your identity, maybe your sense of control, or maybe all three?

SPEAKER_00 3:50

All of those, all of those, and trust in my body. Like I really truly felt like if this was my purpose, which I thought it was, why is my body failing me? Like, why isn't my body on board with the vision and the mission? This is so upsetting. And then I would like go to the dark place of, well, like, God must be punishing me. Like, do I have some sort of bad karma? What's going on? You know, that whole spiral.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Yeah. So you have spoken openly about experiencing several years of depression, which I think is amazing that you speak so vulnerable about it. Was there maybe a particular moment when you realized you could no longer continue relating to yourself and your life in the same way?

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Yeah, I remember the like the exact moment when I realized, wait a minute, I didn't used to be like this. Like, what happened to me? Because the depression was such a slippery slope. Like, first it shows up as like being a little more antisocial and then being a little annoyed by everything, and then getting kind of mad, and then getting kind of sad, and then you don't have any hobbies, you don't have any friends, and all of a sudden you're like this depressed person. You're like, what happened to me? And I remember a couple years in just remembering, like, you know, I didn't used to be like this. I used to have hobbies and friends and energy and passion and

Depression And The Prayer For Help

SPEAKER_00 5:13

zest for life and be bubbly and creative. Like, where did I go? Like, I can't keep living like this. And I said kind of like this Hail Mary prayer, and I was like, God, universe, Jesus, like whoever's out there, send your girl some help. I will act on said help. Just like tell me what to do to feel better because I can't keep going on like this. If I keep going on like this, like it's just not gonna end well for anybody. So send help. And then, of course, in my prayer, I received help and I started working with like a therapist and a shaman and learning about energy and positive psychology. And that's what like started me on the journey of helping others.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

I love that. So when you prayed for help and began to find the resources that supported your healing, did it feel like manifestation or did that language come later once you could look back and understand what had happened in your life?

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Yeah, I would say that language came a little bit later because in my healing journey that I was going through after I said that prayer and I was receiving help and guidance and information, that's when I stumbled upon manifestation and the concept of, you know, your thoughts are forming your reality and your vibration is attracting certain things. And I was like, oh, okay. So in my control freak mind, I was like, oh, I can just think my way to a better life. This is amazing news, you know. So of course I like latched on to that concept and I became obsessed with the idea of manifestation and optimizing your life. And in my beginning stages of my manifesting journey, it was like, I don't want to label it as from an unhealthy place, but it was from that place of like control, wanting to control my life. Whereas now it's evolved into co-creating with life, aligning with my highest timeline, becoming my best self, not as focused on let me just control and micromanage my whole entire life and call it manifestation, you know?

SPEAKER_01 7:20

So we're gonna talk about your amazing book, The Manifesting Fix. Um, before we jump into that, so manifest manifestation is often taught as though we simply need to think positively, raise our vibration, and visualize correctly. What did your own healing teach you that was missing from this version of that conversation?

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Oh my gosh, yeah. I feel like

From Control To Co-Creation

SPEAKER_00 7:43

the concept and teachings of manifestation have been so oversimplified. Of course, it's more sexy to say you just ask and then you receive it. Of course, it's more sexy to say you can just think your way to a better reality. And those teachings are not wrong. They just have what I've noticed in my years of doing this work and teaching this work and helping people with it is that there's just some missing pieces that aren't often taught because they're not as sexy to talk about

Why Alignment Gets Left Out

SPEAKER_00 8:13

and be real about and be honest about, of like, okay, yes, you will ask and receive, but in between the asking and receiving, there's a very important substep called aligning with your goals. And if you aren't aligned with your goals and you have enough resistance to them, of course you're gonna self-sabotage, of course you're gonna procrastinate, of course you're gonna think you want it, but parts of you are like, no, we don't want that. That feels unsafe. So then you're like scratching your head, wondering, like, how come I made a vision board about it and I prayed about it and I did everything they told me to do? But like, why isn't my life changing? Where's my husband? Where's my dream house? Where's my better health? You know? So that's where I come into play, and that's where my new book, The Manifesting Fix, comes into play of bridging that gap of missing alignment. And basically, the premise is like, let's look for any hidden resistance you might have to your dreams and goals. That's gonna be juicy information that we can use to transmute and transform so we can actually align your whole being with what you say and think that you want. Because oftentimes, consciously, we're like, of course I want more money, of course I want love, of course I want to be healthier, but subconsciously, yeah, subconsciously, it's like, well, that doesn't feel safe. That's not that's so unlike us to be rich. You know, it's like all these parameters, checking your identity, checking the authenticity in the background, that we have to like get them on board with the new version of us with what we want in our new life.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

When you say manifestation needs a fix, what do you what do you believe that we've been getting wrong? And I know you just kind of answered it, but I I believe in repetition. Repetition really gets the point across.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah. I mean, when I talk about fixing your manifesting, I'm not talking about like you need to fix yourself, you're not good enough. No, no, no. I'm talking about fixing the approach because the approach, like I said, has been so oversimplified. And what people don't realize is how much resistance they are carrying towards the things that they want. But also sometimes you could just be resisting the present moment, and that's why you want to manifest a completely different life. But regardless, when you're in a state of resistance, your energy is like closed off. You're not seeing opportunities. They might even be coming to you, but they're bouncing right off, you know. So it's like turning your resistance into alignment. That's the transformation that I teach in the manifesting fix. And that's what I mean by like fixing your manifesting. Like, we're gonna fix your vibe, we're gonna fix your beliefs, we're gonna fix your thoughts, we're gonna fix your relationship to yourself, we're gonna fix, you know, transmute that resistance into alignment. And on the other side of that, the whole being of you will be excited and ready to receive what you want.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Why can someone deeply desire love, abundance, visibility, or change while simultaneously resisting the very thing that they're asking to receive?

SPEAKER_00 11:19

Yeah. Let's give an example because this is super love examples, and people will get it with this. So let's say consciously you're like, I'm ready to meet my soulmate, I want to manifest love, I'm tired of being alone, and you're like, This is my thing right now that I'm manifesting an amazing relationship, right? Then subconsciously in the back of your psyche, there might be little parts of you that are like, well, remember what happened last time, or you don't deserve that kind of epic love, or we don't want to get hurt again, you know. So it's like those talk tracks are running in the background and you might not even realize. Then you're going on dates, you finally meet someone awesome. And I write this example in the book. You're like, oh yeah, I'd love

Hidden Resistance And Self-Sabotage

SPEAKER_00 12:08

to go on a second date with you, but like, gotta go, gotta go power wash my driveway, and you like spaz out and you make some weird random excuse to like not see them again because you're getting closer to the goal, and that feels unsafe because last time you were in love, it ended in heartbreak. So you're like associating that pattern in your head and projecting it onto the future versus giving yourself the chance to experience something new and convincing those hesitant parts of yourself, like, hey, look, I know this didn't work out in the past, but that doesn't mean anything about the future. Like, we've learned, we've grown, we've been healing, let's try it again. You know, it's safe to try, that type of thing. So it's really the process of like turning goals and dreams that feel almost dangerous, for lack of a better word, into things that are safe to proceed with. It's like creating safety in yourself, is what's gonna bring you closer to your goals.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Do you believe that manifestation is primarily about attracting something outside of us or becoming emotionally and energetically available for what is already trying to meet us now?

SPEAKER_00 13:18

I like this question. I think it's a little bit of both. I feel like I have this hunch that God, the universe, spirit puts these special desires into our hearts for us almost to motivate us to become who we're meant to be and to give us that little carrot on a stick of like you're gonna have to transform and grow and evolve in order to meet that dream or goal. So there is a like a point of attraction to it, but it is really more so I would say a journey of becoming and co-creating and moving towards the thing while the thing is moving towards you. Because if you think of like magnetism, two magnets on the opposite side of the room are not going to attract, but once they're in range, then they can attract, right? So it's like getting in range of that dream life, of that timeline by becoming who you want to be, by feeling how you want to feel.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

I definitely wholeheartedly believe that the the desires that God puts in our heart are definitely meant for us to bring into our life. And I love that you touch on that. Because if because you you and I could have the same desire of wanting more abundance, but for you, it could be I want, you know, this is my abundance. It's $7 million in the bank, and it's this and best-selling author and all this. And for me, it could be I want to farm. Like it could be our levels of abundance is is vastly different. And I I really, I really love that you brought that up. So, how can we tell a difference between inspired persistence and trying to force something because we are afraid it will not happen without our constant control?

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Ooh, that's such a good question. So, I actually answer this in depth in the manifesting fix because I love that a recovering control freak, and I've had to learn a lot about trust, how to trust more, how to trust yourself, how to trust your life, how to trust God, how to trust the universe, how to trust the divine timing of things. Like trust is such a major theme, right? And people don't want to hear it, but sometimes good things do take time, and sometimes it takes time for you to become that person who can receive the thing.

Trust, Timing, And Letting Go

SPEAKER_00 15:43

And or maybe that thing you're asking for isn't ready and good enough for you yet. What if your future husband is still out there floundering, figuring it out? He's not mature enough yet. What if your dream house hasn't been built yet? What if your dream job hasn't even been created yet? Right? So they're not even hiring for it. They don't even know they need you. So it's like the trust factor is huge. I'm not gonna say it's easy. There's multiple chapters in the book about trust because it's so big and so hard, especially for people who gravitate towards manifestation, because, like I said, a lot of us get into it because we want to control our lives. It's not about control, it's about co-creation and living a very intentional life. So I think that's just an important distinction to bring up here. And I feel like I'm varying away from the question. So remind me if I didn't answer it.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

No, no, no, no. I I feel like, you know, when we when we're trying to pull something into our life, it's the how is not our responsibility. Oh, yeah. We're supposed to give it to God and let it come in. Exactly. And but you but you're but you bring up such a valuable point because you know, I myself, I I struggle with trust, surrendering, let it go to the universe. I'm like, why? I want like, you know, so I love that you have several chapters on that because anyone listening will identify with that because it is you want to control, like, well, I want this, I want this husband, and I want him this, this, and this. And like you said, he just might, he might still be, you know, he might be not where you want him to be, you know, or like you, I like that. The the job just might not be ready, it might not be created yet. And we need to trust and surrender and probably look at some of our subconscious resistance and look at, you know, is this really truth, truly for our best and highest good? Because maybe what I'm asking for is not really what I truly desire, you know?

SPEAKER_00 17:43

So it's yeah, I mean, a lot of people they don't go deep enough with their desires, which is why in the beginning of the book I walk people through a process to like find out what they really want. Because you might think, I want the house, I want the love, I want the money, I want the health, I want the opportunity, whatever it is. That's what I call like your surface desire, like the thing that you say you want, like the glamorous thing that you're calling in, the thing on your vision board, right? But not to say that the surface desire is wrong or bad, but we can go deeper and beyond the surface desire, underneath it is your genuine desire. So it's why do you want that relationship? Why do you want that opportunity? How do you think you're gonna feel in that dream home? Because those feelings, that essence, that's what you're really after. And you can start cultivating those right now, and that will help you to become a very vibrational match to the thing, you know. Right. So it works both ways.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

I really like that you dig in deeper and deeper and deeper because I'm sure for you, even in your journey for you know, writing this book and manifesting and bringing things in, the where you were in the beginning and where you are now and what your deepest desires are are probably not the same. Like I look at myself and I'm like evolve. I was like, I don't want that anymore.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

What was I thinking? Yeah, you can definitely outgrow desires or just be on the totally wrong track because what you think you want is not what you actually want. Like you might think, oh, I want to have my own business so I can have more free time, but then you like get on this entrepreneurial journey and you realize you're working like way more than you did when you had nine to five. So you're like, wait, yeah, what I actually wanted was more free time. So maybe I want less responsibility, you know? So it's like when you know what you're actually going for, you can go directly for that. And maybe the surface desire was on point, maybe it wasn't. But either way, that clarity is going to actually align you with what you really want versus like, I think this is what I want. Let me just try it and see if it gets me the feeling that I think it will get me.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Yeah. So many capable women are wonderful at giving, serving, fixing, and supporting, but feel uncomfortable receiving. What is often underneath that discomfort?

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Oh man, so much.

unknown 20:04

I know.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

For starters, like programming, for starters, like just your DNA of being a giver, like just being a good person, wanting to love everybody all the time, but forgetting to love yourself. You know, there's so much there. And I feel like it's interesting that you asked this question because right now, this moment in history, like psychically, what I've been picking up about it is we need to lean more into the feminine energy of receiving that's gonna bring things more into balance because so many men

Receiving, Feminine Energy, Nervous System Safety

SPEAKER_00 20:38

and women, everybody is just in there masculine, go, go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle, do this, do that, push, force, shove. And it's like, what if more people were more chill more of the time? What would that do for humanity? If we were more able to receive each other's support, if we were able to receive the blessings that are meant for us, if we were able to receive our own love, our own unconditional presence with ourselves, that's a total game changer, right there.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Absolutely. I totally agree with you. So is receiving itself a nervous system experience, or can a desire feel exciting to the conscious mind while the body interprets it as an as unfamiliar or unsafe?

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Yeah, I would say both of those things are true. Regulating your nervous system and making it more familiar to go slow. Like, for example, anything that's unfamiliar, which is the new things that you want that you've never experienced before, probably unfamiliar, that's automatically gonna feel like a threat to your system because your system is like, well, this is how we've done it and we've stayed alive. So, like, why would we stray from that 100% alive success rate? Like, we're not gonna do that, right? Yeah. So entraining your nervous system to be more calm will definitely biohack you into easier receivership for sure. So meditation, slow moving exercise, movement, qigong, yoga, pilates, taking a long stroll, taking a bath, like all of that to physically entrain your body to go slower and to be safe in the moment is very, very helpful. Highly recommend. That will definitely make you a better receiver. But also, if you feel like you're bad at receiving, it's usually an invitation for more self love. Cause there's usually some worthiness wounds there of like, well, who am I to ask for more money? Or, you know, I'm better at these tasks than everyone in my household, so I should just do them all, or whatever it is. And then we fall into that trap of always doing, never receiving. And it's like we need to have a balance in life of giving, receiving, the exchange. The energy needs to move. Otherwise, you'll just get depleted. So true.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

So you teach us self-love is central to manifestation. Why does our relationship with ourselves affect what we believe we are capable of receiving?

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Yeah. So let's put it this way. Have you ever had the experience of having a friend or having a partner where no matter how much you compliment them or offer them help, they like never take it. They're like, oh, this whole thing, I got it for five dollars. Yes, it's so it's there, yes. And then they're like, oh, I don't need help. It's okay. You're like, just accept the compliment. Yeah. That's stink in your body. Right. It's like so frustrating when you come up to people like that and you're like, I want to help you. I want to love you. Like, receive my support, receive my compliment. And they don't, right? Like, that's what

Divine Worthiness And Self-Love

SPEAKER_00 23:48

we're doing all the time. And God and life is like, receive what I am sending you, please. Like, stop deflecting it, stop pushing away. I'm sending it to you for a reason. You know. So it's it's that energy. And I think to get more into the receivership is to own like your divine worthiness. Like when you were a baby, you weren't like, oh, I'm not skinny enough for this brand of diapers, or like I'm not cute enough to like be held when I'm upset, or you know, I'm haven't been a good enough baby to like get cuddles. Like, no, you are demanding. You're like, give me a clean diaper right now, give me water right now, give me milk right now, give me, give me, give me, give me. Because you know that's your divine birthright is to like be held and loved and taken care of and cherished. So when did we stray from that? Right, right. It was like all the lifetime of conditioning of you're not pretty enough, you're not good enough, you're not skinny enough, you're not rich enough, you're not smart enough, so that you will feel so incomplete that you have to always spend money and fuel the economy to try and like fill a void, right, with all these solutions. So it's like that programming has done so much damage to recognize that and to come back to your wholeness, come back to your inherent worthiness is kind of like a decision first, a practice second, you know, because your whole life you've been practicing like just not feeling worthy. So it's gonna be to undo that and come back to your wholeness. But once you recognize, like, why would that person be any more worthy than you? They're not smarter than you, they're not more capable than you. Like, we all have, you know, we all have our inherent gifts and talents that we should lean into, but nobody's more worthy or deserving than the next person. So, what I like to ask people is like, what makes you so special that everyone else deserves these things, but you don't?

SPEAKER_01 25:54

I just have to say that was the best example I think I've ever heard. And and and to take it one step further, I I manage a pediatric and internal medicine office, and we have babies. I'm like, what do you mean this formula is not good enough for me? They're like, ew, it tastes like poo. So now every time I see a new worm, I'm like, that's right, get your divine worthiness.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

Be like, I got you, old soul. Let me get you something that tastes a little better. I swear I have this theory that like babies cry when things taste bad because they reincarnated partially to like experience the food again. And then they're like in a baby's body and they're like, Oh, this food sucks. When am I gonna get to the good stuff?

SPEAKER_01 26:38

You know what? I I'm gonna, I'm gonna, um, I'm going to actually resonate with what you just said because my son, he's 17 now, but he refused formula. That little, he was like, No, you are only breastfeeding me, woman, and that is it. Like, I think we've and I was like, no matter what we tried, I was like, what are you doing? Like, that's so funny. Oh my goodness. Okay. Um we're gonna shift a little bit to the shadow side of manifestation. Yeah. Does manifestation culture sometimes make people feel responsible for every painful event in their lives as though illnesses, grief, trauma, or hardship occurred because they were not positive enough?

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Yeah, 100%. I actually talk about this. I think it's like the first page of the book, honestly. Like, I'm not here to shame you into thinking like you created this horrible reality and like every single thing was in your control. Like, obviously not. Circumstances happen, you know, soul agreements happen that were unconscious, that were pre-planned. Life happens, it's not your fault if something bad or traumatic or horrible happens to you. Of course

The Shadow Side And Manifestation Shame

SPEAKER_00 27:50

not. And I hate that narrative that, like, oh, what did you do to deserve that? Or what did you do to attract that? Like, oh, your vibes must have been really horrible. You know, it's like, no, we're not here to play the manifesting shame game. That's not how it works. Everyone's dealt some cards earlier, later, in the middle of life, whenever. Like, we all go through stuff that's a part of the human experience. Like, we came here to experience the contrast. On the other side of experiencing that, who are you gonna choose to be and how are you gonna choose to respond? Is what I find more interesting than oh, what you've already created in the past or were a match to, or however you want to say it.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

I love that. Where is the line between taking responsibility for our patterns and blaming ourselves for circumstances that we did not consciously choose?

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Yeah, that's such a good question. Because think about it, taking responsibility feels empowering. Feeling cursed does not feel empowering, right? So I think tapping into when you look at the stories that you're creating about what's happened to you, does it give you some sense of agency, or does it just make you feel horrible about yourself? Because what happens to us is what happened to us. The story we tell ourselves about it is what's gonna either empower us or disempower us. Right? So you could say, Oh, that person broke up with me. Okay, that's the fact, that's the circumstance, that's the situation. You could make that mean that you aren't good enough, you're not lovable, you suck, you don't deserve love, you know, whatever, and feel disempowered. Or you could tell yourself, you know, that wasn't my person. That must mean that now I'm available for my person, yay! You know, so it's like, what stories are you superimposing onto the circumstances? That's what's going to make the difference for how you feel and how you can move forward after that. Okay, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 30:02

What do you think spiritual communities get wrong when they treat uncomfortable uncomfortable emotions as evidence that someone is out of alignment?

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Everything. I think that feeling your feelings is one of the best medicines. It's one of the best things to do to get back into alignment. Because if we don't address our unresolved emotions, they actually will fester inside and grow and come out in toxic ways and probably become a point of attraction because your life wants you to face how you're feeling. So it'll just give you more opportunities to meet that emotion if you choose to keep denying it, suppressing it, and avoiding it. So, what I teach, and of course, there's a whole chapter in the manifesting fix about feeling your feelings, because that is a huge fix

Feeling Feelings Versus Toxic Positivity

SPEAKER_00 30:53

to a lot of people's resistance because a lot of people are just resisting uncomfortable emotions, and that's keeping you stuck, right? So, what I encourage people to do is spend time almost meditating on the feelings in your body. So we're gonna disconnect from the story, we're gonna disconnect from what caused us to feel like this, and we're gonna breathe in our body and notice the actual visceral sensations of the feeling. We're gonna let them wash over our body, we're gonna breathe through it because it might get a little intense. And usually an emotional wave is not actually gonna last that long. If you open yourself to it, you don't make stories about it, you don't make it mean that you shouldn't be feeling like this, you don't have time, whatever. And you just love yourself and breathe through the intense sensation of an uncomfortable emotion. On the other side, usually pretty quickly, you'll come to a sense of relief or some kind of clarity or like nugget of wisdom that the emotion was trying to give you. So that's why it's important to embrace your emotions so you can come back to your most aligned self and feeling your feelings is like the most authentic, high vibrational thing you can do.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

So, can the pressure to maintain a high vibration become another form of emotional suppression or spiritual performance?

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Yeah, definitely. I think a lot of people have assumed okay, since manifestation was so oversimplified and it was taught to me that my vibes attract my tribe and my thoughts affect things, then I better only have positive thoughts and I better only feel positive all the time, right? You just like deduce this from the simplicity of the teachings. When in reality, it was never about being positive all the time. It's about being in a state of non-resistance and authenticity as much as you can, which brings us back to feeling your feelings as they happen, being yourself, being honest about what you need and what you want, and writing the roller coaster of life is gonna take you way further than suppressing, denying, avoiding, and just doing toxic positivity that doesn't even work. If you're so my whole first book that I self-publish is called hashtag actually I can, the art of affirming yourself to greatness. And I wrote it because affirmations have been taught since the 80s to be like just say you're a millionaire, so true, right? Or just say this fake thing about your life that you want to be true and feel like a liar and then wonder why your life isn't changing. And it's like if you're lying to yourself about how you feel, what's going on, you're causing more damage than you are progress. So instead, it's like, can we find affirmations? Can we find feelings that are true and expansive? For example, you would switch I'm a millionaire to I'm excited to become the first millionaire in my family, or I'm learning more about money every day, you know, or I am, you know, let me think of another good one that's like true now but feels expansive. I'm receiving more and more money every year, you know? So something that is authentic but opens you to a future of possibility is the place to be, not toxic positivity. I hate that. Totally.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

How can we honor anger, grief, fear, and disappointment without believing those emotions will automatically sabotage what we're creating?

SPEAKER_00 34:32

Yeah, I mean, emotions when you fully allow them to run the course through your body, it's just a moment of discomfort. It's just information and energy moving through you. I think a common misconception is that if I let myself go there, if I let myself feel the sadness or the hurt or the pain or the disappointment that I'll get stuck in it. And what I find as an energetic alignment guide and doing this work in myself and with many, many others, I've never seen someone get stuck. I've seen when people embrace their feelings, they get through it faster and they feel better faster. So it's a little bit counterintuitive. It sounds scary. If you're scared, hire someone, enlist someone, enlist a friend who's a good space holder, or someone who's a good listener who will just let you cry on their shoulder, or a therapist or a coach who's uh like a professional space holder. So you don't have to be in that intense wave alone and ride the wave a couple times. You'll prove to yourself, oh wow, I didn't die. I didn't die, guys. I didn't get stuck there. This is amazing. Wow, I'm actually feeling better. I realized something important, and then you can start to climb up that relief, climb up the emotional scale, feel better and better. It's the suppressing and the denying and the withholding that actually is heavier than the real heavy emotion you're trying to like run away from. So true.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

So your book launches in December. So the manifesting fix, why the law of attraction isn't working for you yet. I love that. People are able to pre-order the book now. And do you have any bonuses by any chance that they pre-order? And if you can you tell us about it, yeah, great question.

SPEAKER_00 36:19

So the pre-order bonuses, I was actually working on this today. So depending when your episode goes live, I'll give you the link so you can link directly to this page where you can get the bonuses. But there's a really great guided meditation that you download where I get into your earbuds and I help you like enter a state of non-resistance and you just get into the vibes of like a river and you float down, and all these blessings come, and it's really nice, and it helps you like entrain your frequency to just be non-resistant. Go with the float. And then there's a really cool worksheet that'll

Book Launch And Pre-Order Bonuses

SPEAKER_00 36:48

help you dive into some exercises before you get your hands on the book. And then if you order a couple of copies, there's more bonuses. If you order, I think more than 10 copies, let's say you want to give them to all your friends and family for Christmas or New Year's or whatever, then you actually get access to some of my courses. I have a money magnetics course, I have some digital journals that have all kinds of journal prompts. I'm like a self-inquiry queen. I feel like if you ask yourself the right questions, you get good clarity, you act on that clarity like you will change your life. So, yeah, there's a couple hundred dollars in bonuses there, which basically pays for the books that you just bought, which is pretty cool. So highly recommend you pre-order. And then anyone who pre-orders the manifesting fix, they should receive it on their doorstep on December 1st, which is cool. This is amazing. One of the first people to have it. So are you gonna be selling any signed copies? You know, I haven't figured that out yet with my publisher, but anyone who buys one, if we meet in person, I'm gonna do a small book tour. Cities are being determined still. I'd love to sign your copy. So, yeah, or if you literally reach out to me on Instagram, like, hey, can I send you my book so you can sign it? Send it to me. I'll sign it back.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

But make sure you uh send her a prepaid envelope to send it back to you. So we'll make your paper photo.

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Yeah, otherwise I'll lose money because I only make like one book per month.

SPEAKER_01 38:14

Yeah, otherwise you're not getting a book back. So for someone who feels stuck right now, what is one manifestation pattern or habit you would encourage them maybe to look at or to stop? And one practice you would invite them to begin.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

Yeah, the best place to start is the process really that I teach in the book and that I'm super excited about right now is just two parts. You want to identify your resistance, see where you're kind of stopping yourself, and then troubleshoot that after you've identified it. Now, to identify your resistance, all you have to do is start with the question Is there any part of me that's not on board with what I say I want? And then you shut up and then you listen, you can journal on it, you can meditate on it. The important part is the listening, and I promise you, whatever resistance is meant to be worked through or worked on, it will come up. And if you can approach it from a place

Find Your Resistance Then Fix It

SPEAKER_00 39:17

of curiosity rather than annoyance, that's helpful. And then you look at your list of objections, hesitations, fears, and one by one you go down the list and you think, okay, do I want to keep this belief? What would I rather believe? Where did this even come from? Is this even mine? You know, you can go through a whole list of questions to kind of analyze the resistance that came up. And then once you realize what the resistance is, sometimes it's easy to just see it and realize, oh, I don't believe that anymore, or I don't want to think that, or that's a stupid thought, or whatever, and you can just throw it away easily because you brought it to the forefront of your mind. Now you can delete it, throw it in the trash. But other times it's like, hmm, okay, I'm having some worthiness problems. Like, let's dive into that. This is our invitation to practice some more self-love. Or maybe you realize you're afraid of success or afraid of the unknown. It's like, okay, fear is not necessarily the problem itself. It's just if I'm letting the fear stop me. So, how can I better relate to my fear? How can I tell her it's gonna be okay? Maybe we need to make a backup plan to feel more safe to go for it. You know, there's so many ways to address different types of resistance as they come up, which is honestly why I had to write the book. Because in the book, the way it's structured is like the first couple sections are about manifesting misconceptions, where we've got it wrong, what to do instead. And then the last part of the book, the main biggest part, is the manifesting fixes. And each different type of resistance that you might find in yourself has a specific fix that will help you transmute it. So it could be a self-love thing, it could be a fear thing, it could be a self-sabotage thing, it could be like in Pixar's Inside Out when you have all these parts of you like trying to control your life, like one part is just really controlling everything when you need to be controlling stuff. So there's different fixes, different remedies, different prescriptions depending on what the resistance is.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

I love that. I'm so excited for this book. So after someone, for our final question, after someone finishes the manifesting fix, what do you what trans transformation do you hope that they've experienced from reading the book?

SPEAKER_00 41:41

Yeah, this book is designed to program you to be a master of your resistance and therefore a master of your life. Because let me tell you something. The people who are most successful in life, they're not like better than you, more capable than you, whatever thing you think they are. They just know how to find their resistance and turn it into alignment. This is a life skill that you can use every time you have

Becoming A Master Of Alignment

SPEAKER_00 42:08

a new goal or dream. This is not like a one and done process. This is like I'm learning to do it with whatever dream I have now. And then probably when I have another bigger, different dream, I'm gonna encounter more resistance. So then I get invited to work through that too. So it's like a guidebook that you can take with you through your levels, through the ages to really be someone who is very good at relating to their desires, to themselves, to their fear, to their different parts and aspects. It's a way to improve all your relationships internally so that your external mirror has a nice harmonious reflection and is reflecting back to you the harmony that you've created internally.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

I am so excited about this book. You have no idea. Thank you so much for coming to this virtual spotlight series. I am so excited to see how this book ripples out to the masses and all the transformations that occur from everybody that reads it and applies the action steps. Thank you again for coming to this virtual spotlight series. Thank you. This is so fun. I'm like, maybe I could stop it. Everyone, I'm so recording.