Spiritual Spotlight Series
Discover a world of healing, holistic, and spiritual modalities with the Spiritual Spotlight Series podcast. Every week, we introduce you to diverse spiritual practitioners, including psychics, energy healers, life coaches, spiritual thought leaders, and witches. Each episode offers inspiration and enlightenment through the unique journeys, experiences, and divine abilities of our guests. Perfect for those on a path to spiritual awakening, this podcast blends science and mysticism to expand your understanding of spirituality. Our mission is to open your eyes to the world around you, making complex concepts accessible and enlightening for anyone seeking spiritual growth. Whether you're new to spirituality or looking to deepen your knowledge, the Spiritual Spotlight Series is your go-to resource for awakening and transformation.
Spiritual Spotlight Series
Embracing Balance and Resilience: Navigating the Waves of Mental Health and Wellness
Join me and Jake as we uncover the trials and victories of managing mental health in the wellness space. We share heartfelt stories—from my own struggle with letting go of that caffeinated comfort to Jake's battle with sugar cravings and the quest for sweetener balance. We tackle the tricky terrain of an all-or-nothing mindset, celebrating the grace found in the gradual and guilt-free pursuit of health.
Feel the ebb and flow of life's journey with us as we discuss the art of self-compassion and setting achievable goals. We reveal how embracing the cyclical nature of progress helps us bounce back from setbacks and break free from the weight of self-imposed pressures. This episode is a reminder that authenticity is key, and rest isn't just a reward—it's an essential part of the resilience toolkit. Listen in for a heartfelt exploration on finding your personal rhythm of routine, recovery, and self-acceptance.
This conversation is also peppered with actionable tips for those making their way toward a healthier lifestyle. We delve into personalizing your wellness strategy, suggesting how a standing desk and regular breaks can revolutionize your workday, and why listening to your body's cues can transform your relationship with food and exercise. Whether it's the joy of non-exercise activities or finding the perfect balance between discipline and pleasure, we're here to guide you to a sustainable path tailored to your own definition of well-being.
We hope you found the episode to be enlightening and insightful. Our goal is to create content that not only entertains but also helps you grow spiritually and connect with your inner self.
If you enjoyed listening to this episode, we would greatly appreciate it if you could take a moment to like, subscribe, and write a review. Your feedback is incredibly valuable to us and helps us to improve the quality of our content and reach a wider audience.
We believe that by sharing knowledge and insights about spirituality, we can help to inspire positive change and personal growth. So, if you find our podcast to be meaningful and informative, we encourage you to share it with your friends and family.
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Hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Commonel with Jake and Rachel. Hello.
Speaker 2:Jake Welcome everybody. Come on, come on.
Speaker 1:Come on, come on, come on, rachel. So so for today, we were kind of just chatting and one of the things that we want to talk about was expectations that we put on ourselves and what it does to our mental health, because Jake and myself we've been on a journey, Jake longer than me. Well, you know, I just I have no idea what I just heard outside of my room.
Speaker 2:Like something is wrong.
Speaker 1:No one is Mr Dog, Ms Cat.
Speaker 2:You've channeled the ferries, you've called them in.
Speaker 1:I channeled the ferries. I have no idea what's going on out there. Anyway, I really don't Sorry, guys, the expectations that I put on myself, that I don't hear voices, your voices. So recently, recently, I decided and we kind of had this in the last episode that for we were going to have like themes of the year and my theme for 2024 is to really focus on health and focus on diets and, you know, exercise and things of that nature, because you know I am getting fearful of, you know, with getting older and you know I'm getting.
Speaker 1:You know, if I start going through menopause or something like that, I get concerns about my hormones and you know all that good fun stuff and what it's going to do to my mental health and my body and everything. So, about a couple of weeks, two weeks ago, I stopped drinking Starbucks and, if anyone knows, rachel obsessed with iced coffee, like I drink iced coffee and the reason why I drink it is because how I drink it is keto. So and I resonate with a keto diet, like I find myself full, I find myself, I can stay in shape, and that I will say that stopping this has now fucked me up. And I can't even tell you guys, I'm snacky, I'm moody, I don't even and it's not even like I'm craving it, I'm just feeling like my whole mental health like took a flop. Is that. Is that how it's like? How can this one thing affect me so much? But, jake, what do you think? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Well it was. It was kind of like what I was just saying, like we were just talking about how I, like I have I've tried several incarnations of trying to give up sugar or trying to dial it back in several ways. And I remember a couple of years ago I like cut it cold turkey, cut all sugar out, and that lasted for a solid two weeks and then it absolutely rubber, banded back to like I was insatiable. Insatiable for like sugar, insatiable for like starchy foods.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's how I'm feeling.
Speaker 2:And it's because, like you, almost like in a way, like you're, you're, you can feel like your brain is getting dry from that, like rush, that it gets from that, like sweetness, right, I know, and this was like around the same time too that you would see, like all of those like fitness journals or like the WebMD or Dr Oz talking about like, oh, Splenda, this is so bad for you, like long term effects of it, blah, blah, blah, and kind of like what I was just sharing with you is that, like I, over my fitness journey and over my, you know, nutrition, diet journey, whatever you want to call it, I have come to a point where you know I'm a Truvia gal personally myself.
Speaker 2:The flavor is just, it's a little bit sweeter. But I mean, in a lot of fitness product supplements, like my hydration powder that I drink has stevia in it A lot of protein powders do A lot of grinal, fitness bars, protein bars, things like that. So I mean, and those are kind of those key things for me that have really helped keep me afloat and stay consistent on mine, because I still do Truvia with my coffee, so I'm not having to give that up. I use sugar-free creamer, you know, so it's no sugar into that. It's like half the fat because of it, and so, and so I'm using the Truvia, because it still tastes good, it still makes me feel good about drinking it, you know, instead of just taking it out or taking anything out of it, and then it just feels like a punishment to drink.
Speaker 1:I agree with you and I feel like part of the issues and why I'm having this flip so much in my mental state is that one. I'm like oh, guess what guys? I stopped drinking iced coffee because of this, linda and this and that, and then it's like if I start drinking it again, then the guilt and the shame that all be like. Well, I told people and then I couldn't follow through with it and you know, and it's, and I, and I think that we put so many expectations on ourselves personally of I'm gonna start this diet, I'm gonna start this exercise plan and then and I feel like I'm not doing a 2% incremental step and truly shifting my path and maybe I'm being too extreme and that's not sending me up for success.
Speaker 2:You know, I think that and that's like the all or nothing mentality, right, and I'm equally guilty of that I'll still like every once in a while, like if I fall off from my, from you know my routine for a little bit I will jump hard back into it, right? And then I learned that same lesson again, that that is not the way that you do it. You know, and I think I'm really big on, I've been really liking seeing online that people are have you seen it going around where it's just like trying to romanticize like mundane life, like every day things, and I think that this could be a really good point to it too. I mean, here's the thing I grew up in a town next to the Hudson, so am I worried about Splenda?
Speaker 1:No, honey, I've got bigger fish to fry, guys, he is definitely not worried.
Speaker 2:I grew up next to the river and it's from the river. Or worse, I grew up next to the river. There were signs posted out front of the Hudson that said don't go into the water if you're pregnant Like the water vapor.
Speaker 2:So what the fuck is going to get in me, you know. So that's just what I'm saying. I think that the toxic fumes from the Hudson, I've got bigger fish to fry for me personally. But listen, if you anybody out there that's listening and you, you know have gathered, gather your information and you feel that Splenda or artificial sweetener is not for you, I love that for you and VU.
Speaker 2:But you know what, if Truffy is what gets the job done for me and I mean it's similar in a lot of different ways Like you have to find where you can meet in the middle first with anything, right. It's like if you're trying to give up starches or if you just found out that you've got, you know, a gluten allergy, right. That's really hard to just rip out of your life too. I mean, if I had to give up gluten, it would be as if someone shot me in the street. I would be remiss. If I couldn't have, like, an Olive Garden breadstick, you know what I mean I would be remiss if I couldn't eat garlic bread ever again.
Speaker 2:This is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I eat garlic bread like 50 times a week, like I love garlic bread, and it's not like I eat it in excess, like I eat it in my own plan. But, you know, being able to have that wiggle room, it's just a lot freeing. I think that when you approach wellness and you approach nutrition in like a very punitive way, you know like very punishing or like very like having to be restricted and very regimented about it no, wiggle room. I have come to a place where I've fallen off and gotten up many times, where now I just like I kind of think of it as a wave. You know, think of it, think of your journey as a wave. That's a really good point. Yeah, you know where it's.
Speaker 2:Just like you know what, if I fall off, like I'll do something little to just get back on it today, and I'm just mostly because I'm over kicking my own self for falling off in the first place, I'm over feeling guilty about it. We're human beings. You know I'm no longer interested in, you know, coming down on myself. But isn't that also something interesting? I find myself guilty of it where, like, we put our own expectations on ourselves or these like really high stakes on ourselves, almost as if we think subconsciously, everybody else can hear our thoughts. You know what I mean, where, like, I will be like, wait, I've got all these rules and I've got all these things that are in place that I'm trying to strive for and stressing myself out over, but I've. There's nobody else but myself that is even aware of these goals, right? So then you're just like sitting there, plugging away, doing your darkness, but also running yourself into the ground too, while you're also trying to grow.
Speaker 1:That is such valuable, like insights, like in one. I wanna give you credit for the fact that you're removing yourself from the roller coaster of shame and guilt, and you know what I'm gonna give myself grace. If I need to take a day to just Netflix and chill, then that's what I'm gonna do, and maybe tomorrow I'm gonna eat jelly beans. I've got a problem right now with jelly beans and maybe the next day, you know, I'll get back to it. And you're right. I think as humans, we always. Sometimes we may have the perception that people are always thinking about us and are, but they, a lot of people, aren't. Like it's all in your mind, like not-.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, 100%.
Speaker 1:Everyone is not everyone's staring at you and looking at what you and I think, if anything, people will champion you. If you're saying like, look, I'm trying to achieve this and I may need some support and some encouragement, or you know whatnot, I think more people would rally towards someone who's being authentic in their journey than maybe somebody who's, you know, on Instagram, looking like everything's perfect, you know, and those are the people. You know what I mean. It's like no, let's be authentic in our struggles and in our journey. And this, like for Jake, he's taken, you know, steps to say okay, I understand that this isn't all or nothing. I'm just going to meander with my life and I'll try to be the best healthy version of myself, and on days that I'm not, I'm gonna, it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:But if I'm being vulnerable with the class, I just knock back a halo top at like 1 am this morning. You know, and that's just my truth.
Speaker 1:Right Am.
Speaker 2:I just gonna bounce back today. Am I still going to my gym routine? Yes, absolutely, and I love that.
Speaker 1:That's amazing, like you just said, like there's beauty in the mundane, like there's beauty in having a routine, and it sounds like that's. What's also helped you is that you have a routine Like you know you're going to the gym, you're gonna be doing this, you're gonna be doing that, and I think that's probably advice for me. It's like okay, rachel, maybe you need to develop more of a you know routine. That way you get it's more like it's more just okay, this is what I do every day. Get up, I look at the sun because you gotta get that beautiful sun and I go for a walk, like maybe that's what I do and not say that.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I saw a really cute. It was like a really cute, like not a meme, it was just like a post on Facebook, Like if I'm one of like the spiritual pages and it was saying Rest is a necessity, not a reward.
Speaker 1:True.
Speaker 2:And I thought that was really important because I think it really just speaks to that. You know, nose to the brimstone mentality that we've talked about. You know that we have to push all the way through this week and then I can rest on Saturday. Or you know I have to get everything on my to-do list done today and then I can rest, and then we just find ourselves never resting because that to-do list extends and it gets built off of, and so it's really up to us, like when are we going to put our foot down and say you know what? I have to give myself this because I need it.
Speaker 1:I like that. And I also think another piece of advice would be to look at things that maybe truly resonate with you. Like you know, you kind of said in the beginning, like you know, when all the artificial sweeteners things came out and you know, maybe that doesn't resonate with me. Like I've actually been looking up different fitness trainers and you know meal plans and exercise plans and I think I finally have landed on one that talks more about just like doing, you know, non-exercise activity training. Like maybe you stand up from your desk, you know, once an hour and you walk for five minutes. Maybe you, when I'm scrolling on my cell phone, maybe I'm walking around, like you know, and it's more like just hey, let's do a little bit of shifting and then that accumulation will lead to a very healthy lifestyle and I think it's not all or nothing. Like remember Beachbody, when that was like super popular, I don't know if it's still like the P90 axe and the.
Speaker 1:You know it's just like, yeah, it's just like, and I even feel like that kind of exercise isn't I think has been proven that's not that healthy. Like you know, it's killing your body. Like let's talk about running. I remember so I'm a registered nurse and when I went through anatomy and physiology the professor was, like you know, as runners, like your kidneys drop, like it's not that safe, like it hurts your knees and hurts your joints, you can walk and still get the same benefits.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's all about like. I think it's all about like. The end goal, I think, for myself personally, is just to at least like, find all the little tools, gather as much information as I can and find the things that work for me in my body Right. Like I'm no stranger, I've bought several different workout plans that I still look back at too, and I'll reference if I need, you know, if I feel like I want to switch it up. But ultimately I will pick and choose the workouts or I'll pick and choose the activities that I feel work for me or that I feel best doing, you know. And if it is walking, that's beautiful. I love you so much in your fitness and in a healthy lifestyle journey by simply walking, you know.
Speaker 1:And I really like a point you just made was that you listen to what you put into your body. So it may be like maybe for me, like I know that I used to have any dairy and now it makes me sick. So it's like listen to the things that are put into your body and maybe for my body, splenda is okay.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what I'm saying here and it's if you're trying to hold yourself to a 30 day challenge or something and it feels like it is strenuous to push yourself through it from beginning to end, break it up a little bit, modify it so it's comfortable for you, so it's fun. You know, nutrition, wellness, anything, whether it's trying to start a hobby, learning something, it should be fun for you and it's completely fine to find a balance between, like discipline and enjoyment. You know.
Speaker 1:And also, like you know what you just said too, like there is going to require a little bit of discipline. Like you know, there are going to be some choices that you're going to have to look within and say what is it that I truly desire? Like, for me, I just want more energy. Like I want to have more energy and I want to be able to have healthy bones. Like that's, you know, because I feel like having healthy bones will lead to. You know, just get nervous, guys. This is a weird thought process. I'm going here, I get nervous about fractures, or you know what I mean. Like I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean, listen, that's a very like, that's a very real you know, as an aging woman you know, like I want to have a strong system, it's not necessarily about being the super skinny, it's more about I want to be strong and I want to have energy, you know. So that doesn't necessarily mean that I need to fast for 27 hours, you know, and starve myself, and then you know, I just I think I need to be more discerning and have maybe just also a little bit grace with discipline about what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it's really just about like finding what it is that you're looking for in your body. You know, for me, a big part of my thing is that I work a desk job where I'm sitting so often and I really, about a year and a half ago, started feeling like it hurts your knees To be sitting down, even in the chair, really impacts your knees and even like the lower back, shoulders, posture, all that stuff, you know. And so I started doing weight training, because that's something that I enjoy doing, and I've started to feel the difference and I feel like it has started to kind of correct the pain and things like that. So it's really meeting your needs, beeps, it is Meeting your needs.
Speaker 1:It's so true I will say that. So I've been following. I think his name is Dave Apry. And then there's another lady, shaneleen Johnson, who used to be a Beachbody coach, but now she's not, and what he talks about is, like you know, the light from our monitors and how that affects our eyesight, and so I've changed my lighting settings, even on my monitors, to nightlight instead of getting the blue light.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Maybe having a standing desk or getting up from your desk every five you know once an hour and walk around for five minutes and because we're not meant to be sitting down.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I like you also have a desk. Sometimes I'm like, oh my God, like you know, just because you've been stared at the computer plugging away and you're like, oh my goodness, like this is not like good, you know. And then like wearing a sleep mask at nighttime and making sure to block out any additional light, like there's so many like, I think, cool hacks that we can all do. And if anyone has any like tips or comments, like, please put it in the comments below, just because I'd be really interested to see what other people are doing. You know, like I really want to get a walking pad, like I'd like to get a walking pad for my office or for, like my office.
Speaker 2:Oh for like, while you're sitting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or even like I'm standing up like hello, come on in. Oh, yes, okay.
Speaker 2:I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's fun.
Speaker 1:And then I was thinking about getting like a, because I'm not sure if I could get a standing desk, but I was thinking about getting one of those risers to like rise up my like my lap, my monitor and stuff, and then that way I could, if I wanted to stand up, like even if I could do a half an hour you know, it's more than what I was doing the day before yeah, I'm a split in between and I keep telling myself that I'll buy like one of those like adjustments, yes, like you, just like even right now, like I feel like I could.
Speaker 1:If I could raise up my desk, I could stand up while we're doing this and be like so tell me about what's going on?
Speaker 2:And I think it's just nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think overall it would help probably your mental state and it would help I know it would help. When I'm more active, I definitely have a much better mental you know state of mind, like I'm more happy and positive and more energetic, like I'm not like killing it, like I'm not down on myself more, if that makes sense. Like I'm not like, oh, put that candy down, like cause I won't be eating it, I don't crave it.
Speaker 2:Then yeah Well, for me, no, I don't think it's weird. Um, like, I mean me, I don't necessarily like it's funny because, like somebody, as somebody who lives with ADHD, when I'm sitting for such a long time I get this overwhelming agitation that just like annoyance, like a caged animal that has been shaken around.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh and so, and I really have found benefit by just like I will simply just like walk on a treadmill, or I'll walk for like 30 minutes a couple of times a week, and being able to like move my body. It's almost like breaking free from the chain that is an office chair. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Um, and listen it's not like energy. You've got to move that energy out.
Speaker 2:You don't want that agitation to be stuck on you and then the next day you're like exactly, and I even like appreciate, you know I like things like Tai Chi, you know, for people who maybe it's hard to stand for extended periods of time, things that you could do seated. Um, yeah, like those mindful physical movements. Yes, um are super, super helpful. I really I used to always like gig a lot I'm thinking that like, oh, you know, I couldn't appreciate it then, but I'm seeing, you know, as the years go on.
Speaker 1:It's interesting how things that we thought were like oh, and now we're like yes, sign me up.
Speaker 2:And you know what it is. I think in many ways like I, you know, maybe I was supposed to have that journey. You know, maybe I was supposed to have trial and error all that time. You know, um, because I mean it is what it is. It happens all across the board too. You, at certain periods of your life, you can be told something, but you can't hear it.
Speaker 1:You know, oh yes, that is so true, like even like us as spiritual practitioners, things that I've maybe have learned and now I'm relearning I'm just like, oh wow, that's such a different viewpoint. But it's because we've aged and had experiences and moments and you know, with life experiences, obviously our viewpoint is going to shift and expand? Hopefully not yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm looking to narrow it down.
Speaker 1:I guys, I want to. Well, you know, according to my design life design, I prefer narrow valley, so I need to narrow it in.
Speaker 2:Wait, narrow valley is like traversing I don't know what it means, don't ask me, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's like it's. I don't know what it is Like, maybe a narrow valley. I have to. I'll have to speak with that gentleman.
Speaker 2:I wonder if it means like do you like, like cozy rooms or things like that, or do you like big open rooms?
Speaker 1:No, thank you. That's why Jake is the best cozy rooms. Like I definitely. Like I get overwhelmed in very large spaces. Yeah, so, even though I don't want to be locked in or closed in because I don't want to feel claustrophobic, but I like yeah, if I go into like like concerts, overwhelming, going into a big events, I'm like okay.
Speaker 2:It's too much space yeah.
Speaker 1:Too much, guys. It's not you, it's the space.
Speaker 2:And then. But there's plenty of people I'm sure there's plenty of people listening that are the exact opposite where they want like an open field, they want the super Walmart.
Speaker 1:Just here and I'm like, yeah, go you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Anything else you want to add in about the expectations that we put on ourselves?
Speaker 2:They are BS and you have to be kinder to yourself. And I think and here's, here's something personally that I've been doing with myself as somebody who is introverted, so I like this, you know, self narrative. I work through things on my own in the privacy of my own, like home, sometimes in the places that bring me joy, like the gym, or like here at home or, you know, in my reading space. I have made it my mission to make sure that I am not giving gas to a fire that is like a destructive narrative or a criticism narrative.
Speaker 2:I read something months ago where it was like the world's too harsh. You need a sweet, you need a soft space to just be in, you know, a place where you can just have your four walls of safety, your things that you love to do, your books, your reading, your crochet, your art, whatever it is. And when you're in that space, you have to create that energy for yourself to make sure that we're not Just fostering an isolation shack where we get to just come down on ourselves. You know, and it's real, because I would do it, you know it's, I'm no stranger to that. So I think you just have to find more ways to giggle at yourself and to kind of laugh off the dark.
Speaker 1:I really like that and it sounds like you know, instead of embracing the rough edges, be okay with the soft.
Speaker 1:You know, be okay with the cozy, be okay with the soft and you know, for me, things that I've started doing recently. I always sing in my car and don't listen to me because I have terrible voice, but it brings me joy, like it pumps me up and makes me feel happy, you know, and I think, finding the things, the little things that bring you joy and then, ultimately and again, those small steps, 2% action instead of can't go all the way in, because then we have a drop off and then you're back to shame and blame and I think that's really tough on people 100%. This has been. This last two weeks has been interesting, so I'll be curious to see when we meet again and I'm like, guess what? Everyone.
Speaker 2:I am changed, born again.
Speaker 1:Back on the sauce.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I just think that I mean just at least speaking from my perspective. I have been, I've been there, done that with being very rigid, very to structured, very too serious, too tough, you know about anything, especially in the self care front, not, you know, being so receptive to being a little bit more softer and cushier for yourself and honestly, I, in the last year I have found so much more resolve and so much more personal strength, confidence, whatever that is, by being soft, by softening myself, you know we don't always have to be so tough.
Speaker 1:No, and we don't have to be so, and I think the other thing is leave room for flexibility. Yeah, you know, things can shift and think, and it's okay. Allow the universe to respond in kind with the energy that you're putting out. Exactly asking for the softness because that's your truth.
Speaker 2:Your truth is that you need the softness, and when you ignore it and when you push it off, you begin to resent it. You resent your past, you know, and that, you know, just creates a whole wagon wheel. What to see? You know, we can get into that another time.
Speaker 1:Well, jake, so I can't wait to get our cozy pillows, and I hope that you have a great day.
Speaker 2:Yes, everyone, stay cozy, Stay cozy.
